Why hadn’t two sisters spoken to each other for ten years despite living under the same roof? How did the disharmony between the two daughters make their mother feel?
Later, what was it that changed them from total strangers to close sisters? Let’s hear the true story from the two sisters about what unfolded in Malaysia.
My younger sister and I had not spoken to each other for 10 years.
(Living under the same roof, but not speaking for 10 years. Can you understand how that would feel?)
If you were present, I would not appear. We could not cope with being in the same space. A family reunion dinner should be a happy occasion, right? Unfortunately, our family didn’t get to experience this sense of joy. If my sister used my belongings, for example, if she wore my clothes or used my pen, I would really hate it. I would definitely break that pen and throw away that piece of clothing. I would never touch anything that she touched.
My sister had been in poor health since childhood and would cough nonstop every day. Her cough made it hard for her to sleep through the night. My mom spent a lot of time and energy looking after her. When I was 7 or 8 years old, I began to feel that because of my younger sister, I received less of my mom’s care and attention, and it was also because of my sister that my mom had to suffer so much.
(From early on, in family photos, their mother always had to be the safety barrier between the sisters. The older sister’s hatred totally destroyed what could have been 10 years of familial bliss. How did the younger sister feel about the situation?)
Actually, it was very heartbreaking because my friends have brothers and sisters and they always shared stories of sibling togetherness. When they asked me questions such as “How come we have never seen your sister”, I wouldn’t know how to reply. It was really very heartbreaking.
I remember a friend once asked my sister, “How many siblings do you have?” She answered, “One.” The friend asked, “Oh, who is it?” She replied, “My elder sister.” She then burst into tears. I remember that scene very vividly.
(As a mother, having to witness the conflict between the sisters, she could only hold the pain in her heart.)
Seeing how my neighbors’ families got along so harmoniously, where siblings played together with such a great sense of warmth, it saddened me so much. Why was it that my family couldn’t be like that? Why was it that others’ homes were filled with laughter? But mine was always silent and dull with no laughter. Those 10 years were truly agonizing and heartbreaking.
In July 2016, I attended the 8.5-Day Health & Happiness Retreat. We chanted and listened to Grandmaster JinBodhi’s dharma teachings. While I was chanting and listening to Grandmaster’s teachings, strangely, I had flashbacks of many previous incidents involving me badly mistreating my younger sister. This was the first time, after such a long while, that I began to feel a sense of remorse. My tears kept flowing. I cried every day and I felt very remorseful. After completing the class, I made an important decision. I decided I needed to resolve this 10-year-long hatred. I needed to start talking to my sister again. So I finally said my first words to my sister in 10 years.
(Those words caused the relationship between the sisters to miraculously change in unexpected ways.)
I remember how it happened that day. My parents were heading out. My mom reminded me, “We are going out now. You’re the big sister, so please look after your younger sister. If there is no food at home, please go out to buy food for her.” That day, my sister was watching television in the living room. I stayed behind the sofa and paced back and forth for at least 30 minutes. I really wanted to talk to her, but I did not dare to. Then I thought, “I can’t drag this any further. I don’t know when the next opportunity will surface.”
Finally, I mustered up my courage and took a step forward. My voice faltered. At that moment, I was unable to speak. Then, in a halting voice, I said to her, “Do…do…do you want to have something to eat?” I still remember the look on my sister’s face. It was unforgettable. She gaped at me, at a loss for words, and answered, “No.”
(Since joining Bodhi Meditation, the sisters have rekindled their relationship.)
After speaking my first sentence to her, things were still awkward between us.
As we were both frequently at the Bodhi Meditation Center and the center had many youth activities, we often had to plan activities or choreograph performances together. This created many common interests and has helped nurture our rapport.
(Because of meditation, knots were untied. Volunteering at the Bodhi Meditation Center and organizing activities together have helped resolve nearly 10 years of hatred.)
Mom, I am sorry. I was wrong. Sorry, I was wrong.
Since joining Bodhi Meditation, our familial relationships have improved. I want to thank Grandmaster JinBodhi for teaching us these unique meditation methods that have allowed me to create harmony in my family. Thus, I am now a long-term volunteer at Bodhi Meditation. I hope to introduce Bodhi Meditation to more people, so that everyone can attain health and happiness.
The intent of the testimonial is to offer wellness information of a general nature. Individual results of practice may vary.
