Son Youngchae | Busan, South Korea
Hello, everyone, my name is Son Youngchae. I’m a musician and the conductor of a popular orchestra. Every time we perform, we bring in substantial ticket revenue.
After a successful performance on March 22, 2023, we received an anonymous complaint letter containing unfounded accusations against me and the team. Subsequently, the Busan District Prosecutor’s Office had to step in to investigate. Although we were cleared in court, the news of the complaint quickly spread throughout the music community in Korea. This incident not only damaged my reputation in the industry but also caused me significant mental trauma.
The entire legal process lasted about a month and a half, during which I often experienced heart palpitations and even fainted while walking. My family was deeply concerned about my health. At the end of April, I was hospitalized due to fainting, and the doctor, who happened to be a fan of our orchestra, recommended a psychiatric examination. The results of the examination surprised me: I was diagnosed with panic disorder, depression, and generalized anxiety disorder.
During that time, I was in great pain. My poor mental state led to various physical symptoms. I experienced dizziness throughout the day, and panic attacks caused me chest pain. In crowded places, I felt extremely uneasy, and my hands and feet trembled uncontrollably. To maintain a semblance of normal life, I had to take seven or eight pills daily, and eventually more, to suppress the symptoms of my poor mental health.
Before attending the Health & Happiness Retreat, I promised myself not to rely on medication during the course. So, from the first day of my meditation journey, I left all my medications at home.
On day one of the retreat, I experienced tightness in my chest, severe headaches, and dizziness. Despite feeling like I was about to faint, I persevered. By the third day, while practicing The Meditation of Greater Illumination in accordance with Grandmaster JinBodhi’s guided visualization, I smelled the fragrance of flowers. When performing the True Fire Mudra, I smelled a burnt odor, as if something inside my body were burning. After the practice, I felt exceptionally good. During the break, Grandmaster JinBodhi spoke about the power and significance of the blessed items, so I took the opportunity to express my feelings to him and got myself a jade pendant. I was full of gratitude.
That night, after returning to the dormitory, my head was spinning. Lying in bed, I thought I was going to die; as if in a movie, I was rolling around in the cosmos. And then, I fell asleep. In the past, even with medication, I couldn’t sleep soundly. However, I woke up feeling refreshed and relaxed. This motivated me to practice even harder. On the fifth day, during the energy-healing session, I once again smelled the burnt odor and the sweet smell of flowers. From that day on, I never felt dizzy again.
The chest pain caused by my panic attacks had already disappeared after the first day of practice. At that time, I was preoccupied with the dizziness, so I forgot about it. During the first three days of the retreat, my social anxiety disorder was influencing my feelings. Although I had to go out for social events in the past, I always worried that I wouldn’t be able to cope with the crowd. However, starting from the fourth day, I wasn’t worried about it anymore.
I feel that Grandmaster JinBodhi is a Divine being. Through this retreat, I overcame panic disorder, depression, and social anxiety disorder. I am truly grateful to him for giving me a new lease on life. If I hadn’t participated in this retreat, I wonder what would have happened to me. As a disciple, I will continue to cultivate myself and follow in Grandmaster JinBodhi’s footsteps.
(The effects of meditation vary person to person.)
※Bodhi Meditation is against discontinuing medication without medical advice.
